but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
