I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize