Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
