i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
