if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
