How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
