I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
