Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
