I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
