What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
