last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
