I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
