Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
