it was like his penis was on wheels.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
