Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
