My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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