i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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