Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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