I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
