I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
