I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i now understand why vodka
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
