so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
