Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
