Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
