Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
