My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
