Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
