she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize