I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
