i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I had to cum in my sink.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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