Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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