We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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