The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You're like the curious george of whores
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
