Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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