Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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