I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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