am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
