Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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