Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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