I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
