the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
