There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
