Non-Jews are for practice
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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