just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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