he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
