Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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