Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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