What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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