the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
