He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
