I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Randomize
