I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
