So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
