HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
