So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize