I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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