This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
