corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
