bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize