He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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