ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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