I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
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