i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
