Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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