Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I wear drunk well.
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