oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
