Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Randomize
