By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
