so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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