i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
