just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
