I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
